Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Horror of your will

When you ask for deepness with God, you must realize the terror of his holiness. How deep, how vast, and how intense, and demanding it is to love like him, to live the way he wants.

You ask, but you only want the warm feelings of being loved and lovely, not the darkness of being lonely, being separated from him intimately all the days of your life. Until heaven. You must hang on with nails clutched into the splinters of the cross. Knowing the horror of his death, covered in venomous blood poisoned with your own sin. Bled out, so that his pure blood loosens you.

You ask him to do what he will with you, then you reject any form of discipline and discomfort. Your flesh and soul cry out with tantrum, storming and toiling, defiance, anger, bitterness and twisted hands, twisted soul, and you harden your heart.

Give into the deep waters, drown, rid of yourself in death and come alive again belonging to him and him only.  He will be the lover of your soul, lavish you with love you have so desire and begged for. Let him enter you and take over, that you are not recognizable. The old has gone and the new has come, she has died and what lives is Jesus in the place where she used to be. You, who were bound in flesh, sinful, lustful body which was slave to sin is now floating free in spirit and the aliveness of the will of God. Let your life flower like the mind of God.