The group that God has assembled could not be more perfect, some how and in some way, we have come to share our deep wounds and dark pasts without the fear of being judged. We didn't feel this way from day one of our meeting, but after taking the leap of faith and carefully pinning out dirty laundry on the clothes line we call "The Blog," we began seeing the same kinds of stains and spots. We began learning that we ourselves have been putting up defenses, gracious faces and with a stiff upper lip, trudging on to survive. We learned that we didn't have to here in the circle of trust because all of us just wanted to close wounds, heal broken hearts and relearn the absolute Truth instead of the lies that creep in during the hours, the days, the weeks, and years, eventually believing and living out lies that keep us like caged birds.
There were some questions that I never even thought of and didn't realize it had affected me the way it does and makes me the way I am. It's been difficult to admit some of my sins, but it's been far more difficult to admit the sins that had been committed against me. For some odd reason, it's easier to reveal my weaknesses and utter the words, "I'm sorry" than to say, "This was done to me and I don't know how to forgive or to heal." How do you make anyone or everyone apologize for their mistakes, intentional or not? When I said that 2013 would be a banner year, I celebrated and fell into fear because I knew that there's no way of becoming something new without dying in my old self...and dying is painful.