Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Best #13: When a puzzle has all it's pieces

This past weekend, the Praise Team went away to Highland park and rented a mansion to relax and bond. We sang, cooked gourmet food good enough for Food Network, played Mini-Olympics and got way too competitive, ate s'mores and sang s'more. The first night, we found this 500 piece puzzle and decided that we would put it together. The whole time we were working on it, I was convinced that there were not enough pieces for the puzzle to be whole, which would have driven me up the wall. Alas...in the end, all pieces were there. :)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Best #12: When you can tell the plane flying over you is going to Korea

Sometimes I look up in the sky and see that airplanes are flying over and for someone that lives near two airports, that's a lot of airplanes, and when I see that sky blue airplane with the red and blue yin-yang, I know that's a Korean Air airplane.  There a whole plane full of Koreans and some visitors that will soon see Korea in it's mountainous beauty and on their way, they will encounter the most beautiful bilingual flight attendants you'll ever meet. They will serve you bibimbop, movies, booze, a blanket and anything else you'll need for your 12 hour trip...now that's what I call mother ship. :) Always fly Korean Air to the mother country, not Asiana, or United for that matter..it's the best.

Friday, November 12, 2010

The Best #11: Words old people use

I love when older waitresses or even older men you encounter who were born in another era call you by sweet names like, "doll" "muffin" or "little bird." It seems they're stuck in the time period they grew up in and it gives me this sense of nostalgia for an era I never lived in. The flip side of the same coin, I love when grumpy old men say things like "cacamemy" "malarky" "nincompoop" and "rabblerouser," because try with all their might to be an ol' grump, they're still so darn cute! "Now stop with all the shinanigans!"

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Waiting Room Reprised

It's been a long road to Damascus and finally we have sent in our dossier to our agency and for some odd reason, I feel as though I've been in the process of adopting a child for the last 15 years and 15 years ago I was a wee high school fretting over my AP Chemistry homework. I title this "Waiting Room Reprised" because I don't know if I ever moved on from waiting...waiting for death? Ok, no rewind, too fast, that was like the 32X fast forwarding where you skip over too much of  the movie. It seems like that's all it's been waiting and now that we've been sprinted thus far, jumped this high, climbed this hill, hopped this hoop to finally send our completed adoption dossier to our agency, we just wait. Again.

In ancient Hebrew (I just learned this from someone, I know...much to everyone's surprise, I don't speak ancient Hebrew) to wait and to long is the same word. The reason being is that when time passes with a longing or a desire, you WAIT for that thing to come into fruition. The time passes with thick anticipation for something you want, you don't want, whatever impending in your life. If you are not longing or in want, that's just time ticking, or time passing. This is why waiting is hard and when you wait too long for anticipation for impending future, the unfulfilled void in your heart gets weary. Just like how you make a pup wait on your command to devour that yummy morsel of doggie treat placed on his nose. You can see how stressed out the dog is with each passing moment and after he's aged a few years in that 10 second pause, he gobbles it up but the next 10 seconds passes with just a  few wags of his tail.

I'm not really sure what I'm waiting for actually, much to my demise and the shock of the community of moms I know, I'm not completely in love with motherhood. I love the idea, the sacrifice, the bond, the unsung heroes of our day, those who deserved to be paid $100,000.00 a year if you calculate all the things they do in a household. But to be realistic and completely honest, the crying, the whining, the diaper changes and the sleepless nights, the sacrifice, the bond and being the unsung heroes of our day and not getting paid a single thank you let alone $100,000.00 a year to run a household is exhausting to me. Lately, people have been asking me "Susie, what do YOU want from your life? liiiike....what do you wanna do?" Well...it's hard to answer that question when everything I've done and accomplished in my life had fell into my lap or forced upon me that I'm not sure what I want. I've never asked those questions of myself and even in laps of fantasy, I thought about what I would love to do, I pop those balloons of reverie with my sharp practicality and remind myself I'm being selfish for thinking and wanting the things I actually would enjoy (because life is all about having things you don't enjoy? because that's one sure way not to become too shallow).

Whatever I'm waiting for....God, motherhood, peace, me to make up mind about what I want, or to make up my mind to actually go for what I want, it's hard to wait on that one thing. This means, as long as we wait for whatever we are desiring at the moment, we will constantly move into the next waiting room without actually arriving into the doctor's examining room. Instead of looking at the morsel of doggie treat to tempt me and age me with every 10 second pause that is commanded of me, I will look to my commander, the one that is truly in control. Not waiting on my circumstances to change, but to wait on God.

The Best # 10: When a two year old likes you

Yesterday I went to Nordstrom cafe to grab a bite during lunch and as I sat there, this little two year old came over to me to say hi. I asked her how old she was, what her name was and what her cow doll's name was. She's two years old (practically a lady), her name is Hailey, and her doll's name is Princess (of course). She proceeded to go back to her seat where her mother was, take big mouth fulls of macaroni and cheese, then carefully balance herself on the wobbly seat over to where I was.

Over the next 10 minutes while I was waiting for my lunch, she sat Princess on my lap and I had told her that she's so heavy and that she must have eaten a lot of her macaroni and cheese. She giggled with glee and nodded so sweetly, then she looked at me like "what's next?" she wanted to be entertained. I had shown her pictures of Bonnie, Chaeli, and other friends I had in my phone, but she had a special interest in Bonnie (like most people) and proceeded to ask "what's her name?" "How old is she?" and "Is that her doll?" (referring to the picture of "Baby", Lynn's stuffed animal she's had for the last 22 years).

Since we hit it off so well, the waitress moved her plate of mac and her chocolate milk right next to my table so that we "girlfriends" can have our lunch together. Her mother had finally decided it was time to go, but she says, "noooo~" We hadn't finished our girl talk yet. :) "Bye Hailey, it was nice meeting you and thanks for lunch."

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Best #9: When your friend works at Starbucks and you get Free drinks

I've worked at Starbucks and when a friend enters the cafe, I'll immediately call them over to the bar and ask them what they want instead of having them stand in line. Over the course of my barista career, I've given out at least one cup to several of my friends and even friends of friends because honestly, Starbucks can use the humbling and I don't think they would have noticed if I stopped charging all my costumers for just one day. Now the tables have turned and although I'm no longer under the watch of the great Starbucks Siren's eye, I am still her faithful patron. It's been most convenient and fortuitous that the Siren employs one of my friends at the cafe right next to my work. Those days when I am not fully awake and I stumble in to fuel my veins with the fluid of life, which I call caffeine, M will just say "I've got you," and I just say, "thanks" and move on to the bar to pick up my free cup of triple tall (sometimes quad) cinnamon dulce latte. That's the best.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Best #8: Unseasonably warm weather

It's 70's and sunny all week till friday. and it's November. Suddenly, you have another chance at an autum as summer comes to a close. I love how weather can give you a sense of new optimism and a second wind at life.

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Best #7: Hanging out with your mom (and dad)

Every Monday, on my day off, I visit my parents. Its always the same though when I see them, whether they're at work or meeting them for dinner. I feel as though, I am the purest form of myself, not hiding a thing, completely confident and I am sure of myself. I'm the most funny, most charming, most happy, and best of all, known. I was telling my mom that I've been blogging a little online and she kind of looked at me like she knew all along, like she's been reading them secretly without me knowing. She just says to me, "yeah, probably because you're like your dad. You've always been a good writer since you were in Kindergarten." I was surprised, first because I can't believe that it would even be possible to tell that a kindergartener's  writing is especially exceptional, and second, that I myself only discovered writing a few years ago when this blog was formed.

My dad on the hand is very much like me, so sometimes we butt heads and we end up getting into some argument that started with me looking at him the wrong way, or I didn't hold him tight enough with he asked for a hug. Still, he says things like "you look like Audrey Hepburn," "I'm the most concerned with your happiness princess, even before your mother's" (And yes, he's only half kidding, my dad makes me laugh and cry like no other.) or "I don't know if it's because you're my first, but you're my favorite." (in the presence of my brother, who is also his son). But more than anything, my dad notices when I've changed and knows what may have been making that change in me. He doesn't like it when I do because I think, aside from loving me because I'm his daughter, he likes me. He likes the person I am, and that's the best.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Best # 6: Chaeli From

Chaeli is a five year old girl at my church that comes to the office with her parents once in a while as an oasis to their tour of chauffeuring her brother's and sisters to their various activities. She will run into the office and make a bee line to my desk and shout, "auntie Susie!" expecting me to pick her up onto my lap. She always has a picture or a little craft she had made at home to bring me, just like when her older brother Daniel was a little boy. He's long grown out of that phase now and he can barely say hi to me when I see him, but he's left a good replacement. When Chaeli began speaking, we would rhetorically ask her "Chaeli, where'd you come from?" and she would answer us like we should've known, "China." Now, she will sit on my lap facing me and tell some story about her brothers or sister then finally she'll say to me, "ok, now get off me!" knowing very well she's on my lap, she's the best.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Best #5: Lauging out loud in public at a text conversation you're having

Sometimes, the quick "hi" text you get from a friend turns into some drawn out story of how you got lost in the city and you had to walk through some dodgy part of town or how you've just embarrassed yourself by slipping on a discarded banana peel, straight out of a Ben and Jerry episode. Sometimes it's just a picture of a hilarious Halloween costume with a caption that says "guess what I am?" or a friend responding to your genius costume by saying "what are you going as?" to which I  reply, "what? you can't tell?!" Whatever the topic is, it's the best when the conversation slowly turns into this elaborate silly banter and you're standing in line of a Starbucks snickering at your tiny screen, as you  try to come back with a smart one. They've got you when your friend finally says something that makes you let out an actual laugh. out loud. in public. by yourself. What's better than that? when you make your friend laugh out loud in public. That's the best.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Best #4: When a baby you're getting to know finally says your name

For a while now, I've been slowly making passes at a little boy of two and his name is Dillon. He's been giving me high fives and fist bumps (which are two little, knock knocks with his tiny little meatball hand) but when he's asked to say hi, with a look of horror, he quickly reaches for him momma. Yesterday, I had lunch with the two of them and all hour long his mom and I cajoled him to say "Suuussiiee" and he would say, "Elmo."
"no, can you say Susie?"
"Elmo"
"yeah...Elmo, but how about Sooozzieeee?"
"Elmo"

With no avail, we allowed him to eat his little cork screw shaped pasta in peace. Finally, we did try one more time and he said it! "Soojee" with his big brown trusting eyes peering  into mine, and I might have thought it was the sound of heaven's sweetest angels singing my name. It's like he had finally accepted my existence and have included my name in the roster of limited vocabulary words he's acquired in his short life. Along with Elmo, Grover, nose, elbow, more, down, momma and poppa......Susie. That's the best.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Best #3 - When the streets are paved with gold.

It's the best when you get to drive on that new paved road that's been under construction all summer long. It's like you deserve that finally completed road because you've endured the stand-still traffic, the power hungry lady with the "slow" and "stop" sign giving you the stink eye if she ever thought you were going too fast, the smell and the dusty debris filing in through your air vents, the enormous construction vehicles swinging it's long jaws of life in front of your windshield. Then one day, you wake up and the road is miraculously finished. You congratulate yourself for being a patient and cooperative driver and you are rewarded with the smooth, shiny, brand new one mile of black gold. ahhh.....

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Best #2 - When two of your favorite jams play back to back

The times I'm in my car, I'm usually going to or coming from work, so I'm in dire need for a little pick me up. That one song that usually does, it comes on and it's like the DJ played it to better your mood, but then the next song is another one of your jams? That's the best. There was a time when there was three songs in a row and  that's when you think someone got a hold of your ipod.




** On an honest note...this is a lot harder to do than I thought. Tired, overwhelmed, empty and feeling a bit crazy, you really don't feel like writing these, or feel any happier afterward, but I guess that happy doesn't just kick in immediately. phew.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Best #1 - People who love you for no good reason

I've only known them for really, two weeks since the two years I've been involved in KCC. There's not much I have done for them or said to them that would make them love fiercely like they do.  I'll have to list all the awesome here in one post about KCC because I think I'll have to write 1000 awesome things just for them...

Crafts, how the kids get so into it and people take it home to actually decorate their place even though it's hideous..
The lantern lit pathways that seem like you're walking through a dream. So romantic and pure.
The way we just go back to the way we were just the summer before, like there wasn't 365 days in between.
The way cup ramen and snacks sustain you the whole entire week, but you still lose weight.
Everyone calls each other by unni, noona, hyun, oppa, and they mean it.
You can be who you are and do a dorky dance in the middle of.......anywhere.
You can always count on a impromptu hug and it's no questions asked.
The pranks played by the counselors on each other and the campers.
The tattoos that are always being drawn on by markers
Messy games, foolish games, the wet ones and the ones that just don't go as planned.
Nap time, sleep time, the involuntary sleep that comes in broad day light
The texts, letters, wall posts and messages throughout the year.
Momma counting down the days til the next KCC
The day poppa and momma tells us counselors who's coming back for the summer.
The day we claim our bunks and it's seems it's the same one every year.
KCC NEVER ends...its this one continuation of camp all throughout your life.
You will never be alone...ever because someone, 55 + someones out there will remember you forever.

That's the best.

I'm sure I'm leaving out a 987 more...

Monday, November 1, 2010

You become your thoughts

I recently discovered a blog that is my new favorite, called 1000 Awesome things. It seems, this Neil has been getting so much traffic, he's been called upon by esteemed press like CNN, Wired, The New Yorker and of course, the most prestigious, The China Daily. He first began this blog after his wife had asked for a divorce because she no longer loved him and his best friend, his "Harold" to his "Kumar" committed suicide due to un-named mental illnesses. Any one would fall  prey to the forlorn disdain of something, no two somethings so jarring and although he didn't mention his time of mourning, I think he did spend quite a time toiling in his sorrow. One day, he began a small blog writing down the small things that made this life good, no awesome. His first post is #1000 : Broccoflower, a mutant vegetable that is a cross between cauliflower and a broccoli, Awesome. Then #999: That last crumbly triangle of potato chips at the bottom of the bag. Awesome. 617 days later, he's felt a lot better since day one of this blog. Not only was he counting his awesomes, he was being funny about it and because we only have 100 years of enjoy all of the awesome things in life, we need to start noticing them right away and everyday.

Here is the website: 1000 Awesome Things

Here are only SOME of my favorites...just because I can relate and/or they just make me laugh.

#980: Old, Dangerous Playground equipment
# 951: Hearing a stranger fart in public
#905: Using all the different shampoos and soaps in someone else's shower
#878: The smell and sound of a campfire
#844: Celebrities on Sesame street
#838: Smell of freshly cut grass
#765: Thinking it's thursday when it's Friday
#699: a long hug when you really need it.
#698: Listening to your new favorite song over and over
#631: Coming back to your own bed after a long trip
#573: The one person who laughs when you tell a really bad joke
#498 Long comfortable silences between really close friends
#450: Horrible fake accents made by close friends

I think I might have to come up with my own awesomes....exsept I'll have to call it...The Best...to use it in a sentence: "You know that film that the factories put on new equipment? The feeling you get when you peel that off, it's THE BEST."