Stories are living and dynamic. Stories exist to be exchanged. They are the currency of Human Growth.-Jean Houston
There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.-Z.N. Hurston
I began writing this blog last year just because I needed a place to write my thoughts down. The ever swirling thoughts that come in and never really have an outlet or a place to drain. It's not that I want to be consumed by the details of this world, interactions with people and the random occurrences I happen to notice, but I do, and until my fingers begin to type away and the words seep out of them, it hardens in my shoulders and in my brain and causes headaches, anxiety, stress. It's been a therapeutic way for me to organize my thoughts and feel like I've put some order to a chaotic storm of noise that I've been carrying in my head. I carry the thoughts around partially because I know that its a growing process to think these things and makes sense of it, maybe to look back and learn about myself or others thought each of my blogs. To look back on them to see what prayer requests have been answered, what character flaws have been corrected, and what mentality has been altered throughout the years. Or not just to correct myself, but to remind me, like Ghost of Christmas past that I've once thought good things and learned good lessons and I will need to hear them from myself in the future. But once it's down on "paper", I'm free to part from them.
Sometimes I want to be completely thoughtless and live life without a care in the world, filing out all the unimportant or toxic things that enter my consciousness and live in the moment of smile, hearts, puppies and rainbows, but that's not always the best. Not only is writing something of an outlet for me, I also believe, somethings should be said, to point out love, pain, and even injustice, and not that this blog is featured in the Wired Magazine or Christianity Today, but in the sea of gibberish, it's one that will stand against the grain of the message "Live for yourself". Even though I began writing so that I had a release from my thought and feelings, and never thought anyone was reading my blog entries, there were some days when I receive a comment saying someone needed the words I've posted, or that it touched them in a certain way. So, if it serves me, but it serves others, I think I will keep writing, no matter who looks at them or who doesn't look at them.
I have a duty to speak the truth as I see it and share not just my triumphs, not just the things that felt good, but the pain, the intense, often unmitigated pain. It is important to share how I know survival is survival and not just a walk through the rain. -Audre Lorde