Thursday, September 4, 2008

Is it me?

It comes all the time this feeling, like I am utterly alone.
I struggle with it most my days.
I just want to collapse into a pile, it crushes me, this monkey on my back.
He disparages me and I believe him, I believe I am alone and none of my actions matter to anyone but me. My happiness is up to me and to escape from the life I know.
For some reason, going some place where no one knows me will fix the problem.
People I love remind me of the relationship I'm suppose to have with Him.

I will never rid of it, this feeling, until I'm with Him.
My pride keep me from him, my sin.
Lies keep me from him, I believe those lies.
It should be simple, to be with someone you're meant to be one with...but it's not.

Psalm 25:16-1716
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.

Luke 5:15-17: "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."

Is it me or is it just human nature. To be human is to be seems that every blog I read says they know this feeling.
And it is Godly nature that we, out of our loneliness help others in their loneliness? Yes, I think so... Every verse I read says pray, love, eat from the word of the Lord. Not to fill our spiritual bellies, but to give it.

Luke 10:33-34 Jesus said: "A Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him."

"But we're running into people all the time who are, at that moment, in desperate need of a thunderhug - because it's lonely time, or broken time, or hurting time, or fear time. In a busy world, it's getting harder and harder to find someone who will see that you're in need of some tenderness and encouragement and stop long enough to give it." Ron Hutchcraft